Love Lift Me Read online

  The screen popped back to the anchor, who quickly launched into the next part of the report. “Field reporter Trisha Wu was at the Patterson residence today and had a chance to interview Miss Reid. Here’s the video.”

  I stood up and had to grit my teeth together when the next thing I saw was the face of Cindy Reid. A reporter was pointing a microphone at her and Cindy was doing her best to appear despondent while still maintaining her typical, conceited aura. In her arms, she held a little dog that kept trying to escape her clutches.

  “Miss Reid, what do you have to say about these photos?” the reporter questioned.

  “Well, I don’t have no idea how ya’ll got those,” Cindy answered with a pout.

  The reporter pressed further, “Have you been romantically involved with Mr. Logan during the trial?”

  She sighed, like she didn’t want to say, but then it spilled out of her and I could tell she enjoyed it. “Shane and I did develop a…certain relationship very early on. I didn’t think it was wrong at first. Now I know what he really wanted.”

  “And what was that?”

  Cindy looked directly at the reporter, and without so much as a single flinch, said, “To get me to testify against my own father, of course. That man needs to get his license taken away. Everyone knows my father didn’t do anything wrong, anyway.”

  The screen cut away from the interview and back to the news studio. “WNWS could not reach Mr. Reid or Attorney Logan for comment,” the anchor stated, and I turned away from the television.

  Seventeen

  Saying I was caught off guard by the news was an understatement. Shocked might be better, as it felt like I’d just had defibrillator paddles placed on my heart and cranked up to full charge. I found the chair next to mother’s bed and sat down in it uneasily. For a while, the best thing to do seemed to be staring blankly at the floor.

  “Somethin’ ain’t right about all that, Mary Katherine,” Momma said hoarsely.

  My answer to her was silence. I didn’t want to even think anymore.

  She tapped the guardrail to get my attention. “You jus’ gon’ sit there and believe everything that little blonde-haired hussy’s got to say on the teevee? I ain’t never known her kin to be particularly truthful, ‘ceptin’ the old man’s late wife.”

  “I saw the pictures, Momma. That was Shane, and he was…with her.”

  Momma lifted her nose. “I heard them kinds of things can be faked and made up to look like anything people want ‘em to with a computer.”

  My phone gave a muffled ring from inside my purse. It was Shane.

  “And now he’s calling me. Probably wants to try and talk his way out of it,” I said and then shoved the phone back in my purse until the ringing stopped.

  “Don’t you think you’re mixing him up with somebody else, honey? He ain’t never acted like Hale Ellis, not as far as I seen.”

  “Why do you keep defending him?” I said loudly and then realized where we were and how sick she really was. Mother twisted up one side of her mouth and closed her hands together.

  She didn’t deserve that. God, what was wrong with me? I have to leave. It’s just too much. I can’t sit here and watch her, knowing that…that she’s going to die, if the only thing I can think about is whether the man that I love…”

  The back of my throat clenched as I fought back the tears. It was true. I love him. How had I avoided saying it to him for so long? Did he feel it too or was this all just a game? Is that why he wouldn’t tell me about the deal he was brokering…because he was really hiding his relationship with Cindy? I have to find out the truth.

  “I gotta go Momma,” I said and stood up briskly. I hesitated at the door for a moment, waiting for her to let me know it was all right to leave her there, but instead I mumbled, “I’ll be back soon,” and left.

  It didn’t take long for my phone to ring again. When I answered it, my conversation with Shane was short and to the point. We would meet.

  Twenty minutes later, and I was standing in the doorway of his hotel suite and staring back at him, wondering if he was still the man of my dreams or just another liar.

  “I want to know everything,” I demanded. “The deal, Cindy, all of it. Tell me right now or I’m walking out of this hotel and never talking to you again.”

  Shane rubbed his stubbly beard, sighed, and invited me inside. He took a seat on the loveseat and I placed myself opposite him so that I could watch his face as he told me what I came to hear.

  “First of all, calm down, Kat.”

  “Calm down? You don’t get to tell me that, Shane. I have to find out about you…a-and Cindy…from a damned news report, and you want me to calm down?”

  “You’re right. I never meant for any of this to hurt what we have,” he said. “But I can see that it has. You think I’ve been sleeping around on you, and I don’t blame you for thinking it. Half the county most likely feels just as betrayed.”

  “So you did…you slept with her, then.” I said, more of a statement than a question.

  Shane craned his neck tiredly and shook his head. “No, Kat. No. My relationship with Cindy was purely…of a legal nature.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “The deal was with her, Kat. I was trying to convince her to get on the stand in exchange for certain protections.”

  I tried to wrap my mind around it. “What good would that do?”

  “She could have testified, Kat.”

  “To what?” I asked, raising one brow. His story didn’t seem very believable.

  “Cindy Reid is employed by her father’s company, although I doubt she does much of anything in her official capacity except collect a check. She knows plenty about what her father has been up to, though – the shady way they’ve covered their tracks with the survey data, and possibly how Miller got paid off to recant his testimony. Not only that, but she also knows what their family stands to lose if things go bad for them in this case.”

  “So why offer her a deal? You told me yourself that Patterson had you on the ropes. She was bound to know that, too. What could she possibly gain by testifying against the same man that paid for everything she enjoyed so much?”

  Shane shrugged and replied, “Maybe she knew how bad we had it. Maybe not. I had to try. The deal would have ended her father, but in return for her cooperation we would’ve agreed not to shut down the plant as long as they paid to clean up the environmental damage. She still would’ve had plenty of money rolling in while her old man served a few years in prison.”

  “You expect me to believe that?”

  Shane held out his hands. “It’s the truth.”

  “I couldn’t imagine her helping you,” I said flatly. “Ever. Cindy Reid is as greedy as they come. You know that. She wouldn’t want to spend a dime on cleaning anything unless she owned it.”

  “I was counting on her greed. With her, I figured money was thicker than blood, but either she doesn’t worship the almighty dollar as much as I thought or she came up with this plan on exposing my visit as something else. Or maybe the old man found out what I was doing and put her up to it, I don’t know. Maybe it was a stupid idea from the start.”

  I crossed my arms and said, “What about the photographs? I saw you in them, holding her hand. Both of you were laughing, smiling. And the kiss…” I grimaced and turned away from him.

  “That was nothing, I-”

  “Nothing?” I said, my voice growing louder. “It looked like something to me!” I stood up out of the chair and clenched my fists. “How can you sit here and say that, Shane?”

  He moved towards me and tried to grab my arm, but I backed away before he could. Then I stormed to the door and swung it open, surprising another hotel guest who looked at me with eyes as big as saucers and moved quickly out of my way.

  “Kat, listen. It wasn’t like that-”

  “Just stay away! I think I’m going to be sick,” I muttered, and spun towards the elevator. Shane jogged behin
d me, keeping pace.

  “Please, hear me out,” he pleaded, but I tried to drone him out. He didn’t seem nearly as disturbed by what had happened as I was, and instead he remained intent on minimizing it. Were all men the same way? When the elevator doors began to close, Shane stuck one hand in and they popped back open.

  “Let me go,” I said and looked down at the floor. Looking into his eyes would have been too hard. “I’m done talking to you, Shane.”

  “It was all a set-up, I swear. The cameras…the kiss…everything. She knew what it would do to the case, she had to. I couldn’t stop her, I tell you.”

  I bit my tongue and continued to look away. He wasn’t going to convince me, not after keeping something like that from me for so long.

  Shane groaned and whipped his hand through his hair. “Why are you so hard-headed sometimes, Kat? It’s like…like you think everyone is out to get you or something. Do you know how damned selfish you’re being right now?” He banged his fist against the metal panel on the outside of the wall. “Maybe you should go. You aren’t willing to listen right now anyway. Your mind was made up before you even walked through those doors.”

  Daring myself, I looked up at him. His amber eyes were burning and his face was etched with anger and frustration. I couldn’t tell if he was being honest about what he’d said or if he just wanted me to believe a lie.

  “Goodbye Shane,” I said bluntly, and pressed the button for the lobby again. In the blink of an eye, it was over. He didn’t try to stop the doors this time, and once they closed, I went to my knees and let all the emotion I didn’t want him to see pour out.

  Eighteen

  The first week after I’d fought with Shane was the hardest one of my life. Mother’s good spirits and seemingly miraculous resurgence of health didn’t just fade away, it vanished without a trace almost overnight. Her appetite diminished to where the doctors were afraid they might have to consider a feeding tube if things didn’t improve, but she wouldn’t allow it anyway. She remained in her bed and barely spoke a word unless it was a complaint about how badly she was hurting. Daddy couldn’t understand why she’d become sick again when she was on what he believed to be the cusp of recovery, even though I tried to explain it to him.

  He and I took turns going to stay with her in the hospital and bringing Abby along. It was one of his afternoons to take Abby to see her after school and I was at home, tending the horses when a phone call came through from the hospital. I almost didn’t want to answer. When I did, it was my father on the other end.

  “The doctor says she ain’t got long, Lil’ Bit. He said you oughta come down and see her. Before…the end.” His voice, strong as it was, broke upon giving me the news and I could hear him breathe in hard to try and keep himself together.

  My hand was shaking so badly I almost dropped the phone. “I’m on my way,” I answered and hung up.

  When I arrived at the hospital Daddy and Abby were there. My sister was red-faced and I could tell she’d been crying. The doctor and a nurse were in Momma’s room with the curtain closed so they were standing together in the hallway just outside. I hugged my sister and told her that everything was going to be all right, that we’d make it past this, and that I was proud of her for being so strong. A moment later, the doctor stepped out and walked towards us.

  “It’s almost time,” he said in a calm, collected way. I imagine that he’d said the same thing hundreds of times throughout his career. “Might be a matter of hours, possibly another day or two. There’s nothing else we can do besides try to keep her as comfortable as possible. The nurse is giving her more pain medication now, so if you want to go and talk to her, you should do it soon.”

  I looked at Daddy, guessing he’d want to go first, but he put one hand on my shoulder and said, “Abby and I talked to her already, Lil’ Bit, ‘fore…before you got here. I know she wants to see you, so go on, me and your sister will wait out here.”

  I reluctantly parted the curtain and walked into mother’s room. There she was, looking every bit as sick as the day I saw her in the emergency room when she first arrived. The fire was gone from her eyes, and not a hint of it remained. Her vitals were all over the place, and thankfully the nurses had thought to turn off the alarms since they would only be a distraction.

  She stirred from her sunken place on the bed when I came near and held out one hand. When I took it, her hand wasn’t cold, or feverish. It felt just like the caring hand of my mother always used to feel.

  “Mary Katherine,” she weakly managed. It looked like she hardly had the strength to keep her eyes open, much less speak.

  “Yes, Momma…I’m here.”

  “I’m dyin’, honey. Goin’ up…to meet Jesus. He’s callin’ me home.”

  “I know,” I said, and squeezed her hand gently. “It’s ok, Momma. We love you.”

  “I’m sorry…I hid my sickness from you like I done,” she said, and then tried to cough, but she couldn’t do much more than take a few weak gasps. “Reckon I wanted ya’ll not to worry…with the time I had left.”

  “It’s ok, Momma.”

  She looked down and rubbed her wrinkled fingers across mine. “I ‘member when…I could fit your whole hand inside my own. You were so little back then, Mary Katherine. Where does the time go?”

  “I don’t know, Momma.”

  “Don’t keep no regrets, honey. You hear me?” she said adamantly, a tiny spark of fire showing through, and I nodded as she went on, “That boy of yours…Shane…he’d make a fine husband.”

  “We…Shane and I...we had a fight.”

  She closed her eyes and shook her head. Her thin, cracked lips opened into a smile and she said, “Not worth dwellin’ on it. Me and your Daddy…we had our fights, too. But I know when I see true love, honey. It’s a rare, beautiful thing. Our family’s been blessed by it.”

  I thumbed the silver chain around my neck and thought about her words.

  “Let me see my Momma’s ol’ locket,” she said, her voice slipping into a whisper, “I’d almost forgotten you still had it.”

  The latch came open easily enough, but I pulled the chain over my head and passed it over to her. Mother caressed the locket in her hands for a moment, tracing her fingertips along the spiraling, etched lines on the outside before opening it up and looking at the faded photograph of her and my father that I’d placed inside. Her chin began to quiver at the sight of it and her smile spread even wider. She held it open for a while, touched the photograph as if to say goodbye to it, and then handed the locket back to me.

  “The picture changes, but what’s written inside stays the same,” she murmured lightly. “What is says inside, that’s true love, Mary Katherine. Your grandmaw was blessed with it, same as you.”

  I read the inscription, closed the locket, and then hung the chain back around my neck. Why was she telling me all this? She already knew what happened with Shane and Cindy. Couldn’t she see what he’d done to me?

  She spoke up again, almost as if she could read my thoughts, “You’re as stubborn as a mule, Mary Katherine. Ain’t nothing wrong with stayin’ closed off like that…for some things…other times, you gotta keep your heart open, even if it means it might get broken.”

  As the last of her words left her, mother softly sighed and closed her eyes. I could tell the medication was beginning to take effect.

  “My word,” she muttered sleepily, “I think it’s time for a rest.”

  The morning clouds lifted like a veil under the midday sun, which shone down with a sublime radiance on the open, dew-covered field just down the hill from Ridgewater Baptist. Mourners had gathered, two hundred of them or more, and they were making their slow way from the church steps to the burgundy tent and metal, velvet-covered chairs that were arranged underneath it. My father, along with the other pallbearers, had already marched out across the field and placed the casket before everyone else arrived.

  I walked between Abby and Miss Pauline, trying to focus for the moment
on navigating the soft field in shoes I’d never worn before instead of the lingering image of my mother’s face from when the man from the funeral home closed the casket only a few minutes before.

  “Sho’ be hot today. Can’t believe we gettin’ weather like this here less than a month fo’ Christmas,” Miss Pauline said and fanned herself with a program from the ceremony.

  “Momma would have loved it,” Abby offered, looking up at the sky. “Remember how she used to fuss with us about the house bein’ too cold, Kat?”

  I nodded and felt a smile coming on at the recollection. “I’ll never forget. She got me good one time for playing with the air conditioning controls. I think Daddy had to buy her that Buick to get her to go along with having it installed. Momma was always fine with nothing more than a breeze rolling in, just like it is today.”

  “There’s Daddy,” Abby said, pointing at our father, who waited like a statue beside the casket. “I never seen him like this before, Kat. You gonna stay around for Christmas before going back to school?”

  “Uh-huh,” I answered. “More than that. I’ve been thinking about it since Momma got put in the hospital. I’m transferring my credits to Wilmington so I can finish in the spring. I’ll be staying at the house while I go to school. I think it’s for the best.”

  We drew quiet when we reached the rows of chairs and each of us took a seat in the front to wait while the others in attendance found their own places. Daddy sat next to me on the end once everyone had assembled and put his hands together between his knees.

  I might have thought he was ready for any other Sunday at church, dressed in the dark gray slacks he always wore to service with the same old jacket that had a bit of wear on the buttons. Soon they’d need to be replaced. His hair was combed neatly back and his paisley tie, a birthday gift from mother that he often wore, hung down his shirt, almost resting in his lap. As the pastor read through Psalm twenty-three, the expression on my father’s face was one of a man that was utterly lost and trying with all his inner strength not to cry.